Do you ever wonder if all your spiritual progress is just moving in a very sophisticated circle? That creeping sensation that each breakthrough, each profound realization, each moment of "finally getting it" somehow leads you right back to where you started – just with fancier vocabulary and more expensive meditation cushions? In this post, I'll show you why getting better at seeking might be your biggest obstacle, and how even your most profound insights might be elegant distractions from real liberation.
The modern seeker has more tools than ever before – and somehow we're all still chasing our tails in increasingly sophisticated ways.
For some spiritual seekers, enlightenment appears as the ultimate human pursuit – one of life and death significance. It's pitched as something only the most dedicated dare embark on, requiring you to sacrifice worldly joys for that promised permanent state where human struggles magically dissolve. The marketing is impeccable: "Transform your consciousness forever," "Achieve permanent bliss," "Transcend all human limitations." But here's the truth that nobody talks about: enlightenment is for children.
The very identity of "spiritual seeker”, just like any other self-identity, is nothing more than a child frozen in time, desperately looking for home. This brainchild isn't some advanced state of consciousness – it's just a collection of past memories and experiences, all rooted in the core belief that somewhere along the way, you lost your sense of belonging and became separate from the rest of existence. And now, like a lost kid in a cosmic shopping mall, you think you must do something special to achieve a better, permanent experience in the future.
It's like we're all playing an elaborate game of cosmic hide-and-seek, convinced that enlightenment is hiding somewhere just around the next spiritual corner. Maybe it's behind that next weekend workshop, or tucked away in endlessly listening to nonduality podcasts without actually having skin in the game, or waiting at the end of that ten-day silent retreat.
The spiritual seeker is never concerned with the present; deep inside has a hidden agenda- its focus is always on what can be achieved later. It's an interesting identity. Often belonging to someone who has spent years on self-development, who has done all the "right" things. You've learned to speak the language fluently – "presence," "awareness," "consciousness," "being." Your spiritual vocabulary is impressive, but has it really changed anything fundamental beyond you believing about it?
And oh, what a resume you've built on this spiritual journey: trauma healing workshops where you discovered your inner child (who knew there were so many of them?), meditation retreats where you mastered the art of watching your thoughts (while secretly hoping they'd finally shut up), and those consciousness workshops that promised to upgrade your operating system and ascension to higher realms.
Yet, deep inside, that inner orphan seeking home remains. The idea of enlightenment becomes your comforting blanket of certainty, your hope in a world that feels increasingly uncertain. It's like a cosmic security blanket – the more uncertain life becomes, the tighter you wrap yourself in spiritual practices and promises of future liberation.
The promise is so enticing. No more nagging desires, no more pressure to find the right partner in a world where all the good ones seem taken. No more worrying about money – because your enlightened status will bring community and effortlessness. And the ultimate escape clause: no fear of reincarnation. You'll never have to deal with this messy human experience again. It's the perfect fairy tale, complete with a happily-ever-after ending.
Speaking of fairy tales, let's talk about the classic enlightenment story that keeps us, children, all hooked. You know the one: Once upon a time, there was a spiritual seeker. Their head was a mess, relationships didn’t bring the happiness it was hoped for, and they tried everything until one magical day, they met THE teacher. This wasn't just any teacher – this was the one who finally had the secret sauce, the missing piece, the key to permanent freedom from all human suffering.
Our hero then practiced diligently, following every instruction and rule, letting go of their addictions and so their life was becoming more manageable, more controlled, until one day – BAM! – something shifted. Their consciousness exploded like a spiritual supernova, and they dissolved into pure awareness beyond the mind. They became everything and nothing, transcended all worldly struggles, and most importantly, they were finally, finally free from seeking. The end.
It's a beautiful story, isn't it? Almost as beautiful as Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. And just as real. But here's the thing about fairy tales – they work because they tap into our deepest wishes, our most cherished hopes. They're the bedtime stories we tell ourselves to make the uncertainty of existence feel a little less scary.
And so we keep playing this game of spiritual Russian roulette: "Maybe it will happen to me too—someday." Maybe I'll be the one who gets lucky, who finds the right teacher, who does the practice perfectly enough, who finally cracks the cosmic code. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be the one who makes it to the end of the rainbow and finds that pot of permanent peace.
And let's talk about that candy-coated truth we're all spiritual children addicted to. You know the kind – those sweet little insights that give you a temporary high, making you feel like you've finally getting somewhere. "I am not my thoughts!" (Sugar rush.) "Everything is consciousness!" (Another hit.) "There is no self!" (Pure spiritual glucose flooding your system.) It's like we're chasing the next awakening high, each insight promising to be the one that finally sticks.
I remember being in a group of intense spiritual seekers once, we had a highly advanced guides they were pointing us to the realization there is no self. Nobody was getting it, until one by one, we started to pop.. and when we finally had our realization, we went through an online portal to the ascended group of the liberated ones.. There I was, my ego inflated to the size of Jupiter, I couldn’t believe I made it. Finally.
We, cosmic kids, built entire spiritual theme parks in the sky, complete with different rides for different seekers. There's the Meditation Mountain roller coaster – starts slow, promises peaks of pure awareness, but somehow always brings you back to where you started. The Hall of Mirrors of self-inquiry, where you can stare at your own reflection through a thousand different spiritual concepts but avoiding the emotional depth required. And don't forget the Consciousness Carousel - a different kind of kid’s arousal - where you can go round and round with the same insights, feeling like you're moving while staying exactly where you are.
The VIP sections are particularly interesting – special areas reserved for the spiritually advanced, where you can sip your organic, fair-trade enlightenment tea while discussing how you've transcended all preferences. "Oh, you're still doing basic mindfulness? I'm into non-dual quantum consciousness reprogramming now.”
The really wild part? This isn't just about the obvious stuff – the crystal collections, the sacred geometry tattoos, or the way we've turned "being present" into a competitive sport. It's about something far more subtle and seductive: we've created an entire identity around being "the one who sees through our ego."
Some people I've worked with tell me they don't even believe enlightenment is possible for them. Yet, they keep dedicating their lives to it because of - FOMO – the fear of missing out. They want to at least "approach" enlightenment, to get as close as possible, just in case. And so, they stay on the merry-go-round, flirting endlessly with existence. It's a tease that never goes anywhere while you don’t have to feel the deeply buried emotions while keeping all the self-identities on life support. But the tease feels safer – because it offers hope, that most addictive of spiritual drugs.
Ayahuasca? Mild. Buffo? Mild. Hope? That’s the real hit that lasts hours and days and years..
The seeker cannot drop the search – even when they try. They might act resigned for a while, claiming they've "given up seeking," which becomes just another form of seeking. But then a new book catches their eye, or a shiny new method that "will definitely work this time" pulls them back in. They'll grab it and keep going, practicing diligently, doing everything they believe is necessary to approach or achieve enlightenment. It's like watching someone quit social media by posting daily updates about how they're quitting social media.
But here's what changes everything: Non-Duality isn't another level to achieve in this spiritual video game. Non-Duality is simply what is – now, here, free of all seeking, free of hoping. It's the grown-up recognition that the seeker is the very thing blocking the view of what's always been here.
Children - seek answers because they believe what they're told if it sounds convincing enough. They get caught up in stories, in promises, in the idea that happiness is always around the next corner. But adults? Real adults not defined by a number on age - Adults find good questions – questions that break through the fairy tales and identities they've been unknowingly protecting at all costs. They find mentors who don't have more answers or better stories but better questions, and guide them to question the most obvious truths they don’t think hey need to question. Truths buried in personal biases and hidden agendas - and without them - liberation is simple.
Non-Duality reveals that the spiritual seeker can never find what they are looking for because, by definition, they are seekers, it’s a role. The seeker identity must perpetuate the search—always focused on a future goal—to avoid looking deeply into the present and into the identity itself. It's like a dog chasing its tail, not realizing that the chase itself is what keeps the tail just out of reach.
For the spiritual seeker, enlightenment is the trophy. For Non-Duality, it's about dropping the game entirely. Not because you've achieved something, but because you see through the whole performance. It's like waking up from a dream and realizing you never needed to solve the dream's problems in the first place.
Enlightenment is a fairytale. It's a story. And every story is rooted in duality—a "before" and "after," a "seeker" and what's "sought," a "you" that needs to become "enlightened." But what if there was never any separation to begin with? What if the very show - the search for home was what made you feel homeless in the first place?
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